Last night I went and saw the movie How do you Know. It wasn’t the greatest movie, but it wasn’t terrible either. I for sure laughed, but doubt I would watch it again. But… I did find a quote that I loved, and it has been rolling around in the empty cavity inside my skull all night. The psychologist in the movie said, “You need to figure out what it is you want and learn how to ask for it.” At that point I lean over to the person I was with and say, “That’s really hard.” Then Reese Witherspoon echoes me with the exact same line. How are we supposed to know what we want? And even more difficult, once we know what we want, how do we learn how to ask for it?
I keep thinking that I know what I want in life – but every day it seems as if things change and evolve and leave me in the dark. How am I supposed to know what I want when I don’t even understand my life? I know I want to be happy, and I know that I want to see the world and help other people, but sometimes that terrifies me. What if I make a wrong decision and I’m miserable? What if I settle because I don’t think I can do better? Decision making is a seriously hard endeavor. I have so much respect for those who understand what they want in life and go for it. I used to think that I had this unique outlook on life – and that my way was so much more superior to that of my peers, but then I realized that I am completely inadequate in every way to even begin to judge their decisions and life choices. If they know what they want in life and search after that, then they are way ahead of me and I applaud them for their ability to make decisions.
In the meantime, I’m going to figure out what it is that makes me happy and what I truly want in life – and then I’m going to search after it and hopefully, God willing, I will obtain it.