Sunday, June 20, 2010

No Day But Today

Sometimes I feel like I couldn't be more blessed, and sometimes I wish I could even recognize one good thing in my life. It's weird how bipolar I can be. Recently I have been loving life. Every single aspect of it. I have been doing an Ironman Triathlon on campus this month. That is 112 miles biking, 26 miles running and 97 miles swimming. It has been pretty difficult to find time to do it, and I only have 10 days left. I'm more than half way done, I'll run 2.5 miles tomorrow and bike about 20. It should be a good day. I wish I had more time every day so I could finish it faster. Oh well, it's been a blast so far.

Saturday I went "mountain" biking with my good friend Julie. It was so much fun. We went out on some farm roads out in the country in some canyon type things. It was a lot of fun. I could really bike all day long.

Wednesday we had a ward activity in the cold, it was a lot of fun.
My FHE sister Anna
Our FHE family

Also, today I was talking to my good friend Sam (see picture below) about self improvement. I often think about my future and how I don't think I'll ever get married. Part of this stems from the fact that I am never going to be perfect. The flaws that I have are sometimes overwhelming. I really would love to be perfect at everything. My thought is always "would I marry someone with my qualities?" And my answer is always "no." Why can't I be perfect, and why would I never date someone like me? I just need to focus on improving every aspect of who I am and understanding that maybe someday I'll find someone who completes me and helps me with my shortcomings. Maybe someday that'll happen.
Anyway, in all of this I can't help but think of my favorite line from RENT: "No day but today." There is no sense in dwelling on my shortcomings or worrying about what might happen. I just need to live each day as if it is my last and as if nothing bad has ever happened in the past. It has already happened, learn from it and move on. That motto makes life so much easier.

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